Super Strokes    developed by John F. Taylor, Ph.D.                                                                                                                                  

Super strokes are statements and actions that tend to develop, maintain, or enhance the child's experiencing of self-worth, social impact, self-direction, or self-confidence.

GRATITUDE: "Thank you!" "I am grateful for what you did."

SHARING A SKILL: "Now you can play pretty music for all of us." "Are there any other students whom you can help in math now?"

STRONGPATHY: "I'll bet that was fun." "You really enjoy doing that, don't you!"

SOCIAL IMPACT: "When you did that, it allowed me to rest 5 minutes." "You really helped Suzy by doing that."

RECIPROCAL FAVOR: "I'm sure Matt will want to play with you tomorrow since you played so nicely today." "When you help with the dishes, I have more time for playing with you."

UNIQUENESS: "Green is really your color." "Your suns always have such happy smiles."

SELF-DETERMINATION: "I would like you to do this, but you choose how and when." "You go right ahead if that is what you want."

SELF-IMPACT: "There are lots of things you can do to help yourself." "You're helping yourself by doing that." "Jogging will strengthen your heart and lungs." "It's nice to do something for yourself, isn't it!"

MATERIAL IMPACT: "You can build a lot of things with your new tool kit." "When you water the flowers, they will grow and bloom."

ACKNOWLEDGE EFFORT: "I can see a lot of work went into this." "I'm glad you tried."

LABEL THE ACT: "You tied your shoes." "You cleaned your room." "You drew me a picture."

STRONGPHASIZE STRENGTH: "This is easier for you now." "Your correct answers are circled in red." That part looked easy for you."

TELL ME ABOUT IT: "Tell me about your picture." "I'm interested to hear what you are doing in school."

 Anger Control    developed by John F. Taylor, Ph.D.                                                                                                                                  

Play the ACE of Anger

Adapt to the situation

• I create my anger
• I can use it any way I want
  to hurt others or self
  to help others or self
• Anger warns me that I have a problem to resolve
• I can change my approach so I won't be so frustrated

Confront means to talk

• I can use the energy from anger to
• tell them to please stop
• tell them what I want them to please do instead
• tell them how I will support their change
• talk to an adult

Escape means

Deciding to leave the situation: talk to an adult first

Avoid being RUDE

Repeated useless venting

• pillow punching
• rehearsing the anger
• not confronting

Under-expressing the anger

Dumping on others, pets, etc.

Exaggerating often results in loss of control

 Friendship Skills    developed by John F. Taylor, Ph.D.                                                                                                                             

Friend goes first

Talk about your friend

Friend chooses what to play

Talk about your friend's topics

Instead of "hogging the ball," take turns

Show you're happy that your friend is happy

Let your friend control his/her half; don't be the "boss"

Be a friendly host; practice meeting the friend's needs

Use the politeness words "please" and "thank you"

Feed the friend; have supervised kitchen fun

Give small appropriate gifts and share

Friend says when to stop

Do small favors

 Mistakes are...DELICATE    developed by John F. Taylor, Ph.D.                                                                                                     

Preventing perfectionism by encouraging a healthy attitude toward mistakes

"Your mistakes are........."

Decreasing

"Look how far you've come"
"Things will get easier as you continue to practice"

Expected

"That's why pencils have erasers"
"Everybody makes mistakes; nobody is perfect"

Learning Tools

"Success means any forward progress"
"What can you learn from this experience for next time?"

I ncompletions

"You didn't run out of talent; you just ran out of time"
"You're just not done with it yet; we'll work on it again later"

Caused

"Let's see what's giving you the trouble here"<> "Every mistake has a cause"

Accidental

"You can't do a mistake on purpose"
"All mistakes are just accidents"

Temporary

"You're just not ready for this right now"
"This doesn't mean that you can't do it better later"

Effort Proofs

"Mistakes only prove you're trying"
"Mistakes are benchmarks on the path of effort"